Cricket

Now the season has started, we find the usual silly pitches. It can't be right that Taunton allowed 500 for Warwickshire and 340-something reply for Zummer carrot crunchers (Vic Marks, prop).

Looks like draws all round with each county going just for first-innings bonus points.

I can't wait to get down with the traditional flask of soup and shiver my way through a day's play.

You can send me a fish paste sandwich if you want.